By Casey Neill
Your instincts are key when it comes to your child’s sleep, says Lauri Goodhardt.
The Caulfield North mum of three, teacher, and infant and child sleep consultant says parents need to dial down the noise from the sleep world.
“What’s really hard about sleep is it’s not a regulated industry,” she said.
“The sleep industry takes advantage of parents where they’re most vulnerable because everyone’s exhausted.”
There’s no degree, and most services are based on personal philosophies.
“There’s very little information on what is actually biologically normal,” she said.
“I don’t think there’s enough about sleep education in the hospital system.”
She said parents took their baby home with next to no understanding of developmental milestones and how they might affect breastfeeding or sleep.
Even a paediatrician once told Lauri her son’s sleep troubles were due to “feeling abandoned” at night because the house was so full of life during the day.
“I literally left and cried,” she said.
“I had confidence to know what was ridiculous.
“Use your intuition.”
Lauri helps parents to understand whether their expectations are realistic and biologically appropriate.
“I’m not there to solve a problem, I’m there to figure out why there’s a problem and solve that,” she said.
“It’s really about tuning into what the individual wants and needs.
“I’m just sad for parents who feel stressed about something that should be enjoyable.”
Lauri said parents felt shame no matter their sleep journey, whether they support their child to sleep, or prioritise independent sleep.
“It’s ridiculous because it’s your parenting journey,” she said.
“Why are we so fixated on making kids sleep independently when we sleep with a partner every night?
“It’s because it’s so drilled into us that independence is key.
“Why can’t we do what works?
“It’s also a very westernised idea of sleep.
“Nowhere else in the world are they concerned about sleep in this way.
“On the other hand, we also don’t have the luxury of not having independent sleep.
“We don’t want our kid in bed all night before work, it’s exhausting.
“I need the day to end and I need my space.
“We have bigger houses, we have the means.
“I just think it should all be legitimate and justified and fine.”
Lauri recalled one client who was told ‘do not rock your child to sleep, they won’t be able to settle independently’.
But a paediatric physio identified that the child had a weak vestibular system, which is associated with balance.
“As soon as we brought rock to sleep in, it was all they needed to sleep through the night,” she said.
“Don’t be fooled by people saying you’re creating a rod for your own back.
“There really are different ways of doing things.”
